Band Geeks
by Hideki Omega
Summary: From that guy that brought you How Gendo Does Christmas comes a marching band tale few can stomach. What have I created!


**BAND GEEKS**

Disclaimer: I'm poor. If I owned Evangelion, I would be rich. But I am poor.

AN: I know what you're thinking. "Wow, someone with absolutely no life went and wrote an Evangelion marching band fic." And you would be absolutely right. As the writer's block for "How Gendo Does Christmas" cripples my imagination, I thought I'd sidetrack and try something new. Now, if you're like me, you're in the marching band. Also, if you're like me, you're entire life revolves around said marching band. I'm a trumpet player at UMass Amherst right now, and I figure, "Hey, I'll write a marching band fic. Can't get much geekier than that, right?" Right. And don't go arguing logistics with me. I don't care that marching bands are an american institution. I can dream can't I! Don't take away my dreams! This is largely based on my high school marching band, by the way. Enjoy.

"Misato, have you lost your _mind_?" Asuka flailed.

"We have enough stress as it is with piloting!" Shinji stood beside his red-headed roommate, trying to talk some sense into their Major.

Misato put her hands up defensively, "Listen, all I'm saying is you guys need some extra curricular activities. It's part of my job to make sure you guys have a real childhood, believe it or not."

"That doesn't mean we have to join the **marching band**!" Asuka threw her arms up in the air.

Misato gave a relaxed shrug as though it all made perfect sense to her, "Hey, you're both accomplished musicians, and you both could use a little athletics as well."

"Athletics? If we wanted athletics, we'd join a sport." Asuka spoke firmly. Shinji nodded in agreement.

Misato shook her head, "Asuka, your too stubborn for organized sports, and Shinji, you have the athletic talent of a rock." Shinji's shoulders sagged a bit.

"This is the most idiotic thing I've heard in my entire life." Asuka stamped her foot.

"Oh, come on," Misato waved a hand at them "it's not that bad and you know it. Besides, I think Kensuke and Hikari are already involved in it."

"What!" Shinji and Asuka blurted together.

"Yeah, I'm not sure what they do exactly, but they're definitely part of it. Rei is going to be doing it with you, too. I've already spoken to her about it. Tomorrow is sign-ups, and the two of you along with Rei will report to your school's music department immediately after school. There you will be fitted for uniforms, and given all of your information."

"But–"

"That's an_order._"

**The Next Day**

"What a freaking joke." Asuka gripped her violin case tightly in her left fist.

"It won't be that bad, Asuka…" Shinji trudged behind her, lugging his cello in its bulky case, while Rei walked in silence beside him.

"Are you **dense**?" Asuka went on, "This is what dorks do. Geeks. Band Geeks. It's bad enough I have to deal with you."

"You sound kinda nervous." Shinji knew this would get her.

"Nervous? Me? Ha! This is going to be so simple. That's what makes it so bad. The complete lack of challenge. Just a buncha nerds running around a field. What a joke. Ha ha ha ha!" Asuka had a new air of confidence, and Shinji was glad that he didn't have to deal with her complaining anymore.

They rounded the corner into the bandroom and stood still a moment. Before them were seventy or so students all going about different things. Some were getting fitted for uniforms, others signing-out their instruments, while others were getting papers and packets full of information. Shinji squinted at the crowd to see if he could spot Kensuke or Hikari, but he could find neither of them.

"Oh, are you here to sign up?" a cheery voice broke their pause, and they turned to see a tall woman holding a clipboard. Her dark hair was all done up in a bun, and she wore a professional looking business suit.

Shinji spoke up nervously, "Um, yes, you see, we need, um, well, infor-"

"Shut it." Asuka interrupted, then turned to the woman, "Yeah, we're here to sign up. Just tell us what to do so we can get outta here."

The woman looked a little surprised, "Oh, well, over to your left is the uniform station, and then next to that is where you can sign out your instruments."

"What do you mean, sign out our instruments? We have ours right here." She held up her violin.

The woman held back a chuckle "Oh, my dear, I'm afraid that we don't allow string instruments in the marching band."

"What!"

"Why not?" Shinji questioned.

"Because then this would be a marching orchestra."

Asuka stared at her blankly.

"Besides," she went on, "how do you think you would make it around the field with _that_?" she pointed to Shinji's cello.

He paused for a moment, "I hadn't thought of that…"

"What shall we be playing then?" Rei suddenly spoke up, startling Shinji, Asuka, and the woman.

"Oh, well, I'm not sure. You'll have to speak to the people at the instrument table."

Asuka looked pissed, "Great. Just perfect."

"Can I just get your names before you go?" the woman held up her clip board.

"Asuka Langley-Soryu."

"Rei Ayanami."

The woman jotted them down, "…Mhmm, and you?"

"Oh, I'm-."

"Shinji!" Kensuke came running up, "What are you doing here!"

"Kensuke! Why didn't you tell me you were in the band?"

"Oh, well, uh, I…" Kensuke seemed a bit nervous.

"Yes?" Shinji pushed.

"Well, I always thought you and Toji would make fun of me…"

"We probably would have. But hey, here I am at sign-ups…" Shinji shrugged.

"Yeah, why?" Kensuke wondered.

"Because of Misato. But as long as you're here, it won't be too bad."

"Yeah…" Kensuke looked at the clock, "Hey, I gotta run."

"Why?" Shinji cocked an eyebrow.

"Well, I have… duties…" Kensuke looked at the ground.

"Duties?" Shinji was confused, "What kind of duties?"

"I'm one of the… drum majors." His face went red.

"A what?"

"A drum major. I conduct the band on the field. I'm like a band leader."

Shinji smirked, "Wow, so you run the place huh?"

Kensuke put his hands up in front of him, "Oh, no no no. Mr. Demura runs the place."

"Who?" Shinji asked

Kensuke looked at the clock again and suddenly became nervous, "You'll see. Very shortly." Then he turned, and started off, "See you, Shinji!"

Shinji watched him enter another room and shut the door behind him, "Weird."

"Ahem… Your name?" the woman was still standing beside him with her clipboard up.

"Oh, sorry. Shinji Ikari."

The woman wrote it down, smiled, and walked off. Shinji turned and looked around for Asuka and Rei, who were finishing up at the uniform station. He hurried over.

"Whose next?" a thin woman with a big nose grabbed Shinji, "You are? Good. Okay, I'm just gonna do a few measurements…" Shinji felt kind of awkward, but suddenly the woman disappeared into a closet full of uniforms and emerged with a garment bag bearing his name.

"Don't get a _speck _on it, understand? These are no fun to dry-clean…" the woman handed him the bag and pushed him to the instrument table, where Asuka was already causing a ruckus.

"Why can't I just play my violin!" Asuka was screeching at a nervous-looking boy behind the table.

"I'm sorry!" he trembled, "We don't have a music part written for string instruments!"

"Are you telling me that I have to learn a whole new instrument!" Asuka howled.

"Well, not necessarily…" he gulped, "You could be in the colorguard."

"The what?"

"The colorguard. They're the flag spinners."

"Why would I want to twirl a flag!" Asuka blurted.

Now, the boy knew all about Asuka. Who didn't? She was the most popular, most beautiful girl in the school. He also knew that she had one weakness: flattery.

"Well, Miss Soryu, flag spinning requires a certain, uh, degree, yeah, of grace and, uh, prowess. It would suit you perfectly!"

Asuka glared at him, then smiled sweetly, "You're right… I am naturally graceful, aren't I?"

The boy smiled at her, nervously.

"Alright, I'll do that, then."

"Okay, here's your practice flag." He handed her a five foot tall pole with a plain blue flag attached to it, "If you could just sign here, so we know you have it."

Asuka signed her name and strode off gracefully. The boy put his hand to his heart and sighed dreamily, staring off into space, "She spoke to me…"

His fantasy was broken by Rei, who said, "I require an instrument."

He snapped back to reality, and looked at her. Then rubbed his eyes. Then looked at her again. He hadn't seen Rei before, so needless to say, it was a shocker.

"I require an instrument." she repeated herself.

"Oh, sorry. What do you play?"

"Viola." Rei said flatly.

"No, I mean, for this band, what do you play?"

"What do you need me to play?" Rei asked.

The boy looked at the list of members and instruments in front of him, "Well, we could use one more sousaphone player, but you're-"

"I'll do it."

The boy stared at her, "Um, do you know what a sousaphone is?"

"No."

"It's the huge tuba that wraps around your body. Do you have any idea how heavy they are? You wouldn't even be able to li-"

"I'll do it."

The boy stared some more "O-kaaay… Whatever you say. Sign here."

Rei complied and signed her name as if a computer had printed it, "I will take my instrument, now."

The boy stood up, sighed, and wheeled the biggest case around the table and set it before her.

Rei turned without thanking him and dragged the huge case to the next table.

"Rude…" the boy said under his breath, then called, "Next…"

"Oh, that's me." Shinji walked up to the table.

"What do you play?" the boy asked.

"Cello."

The boy put his face in his hands, "No, I mean for this band, what do you play?"

Shinji looked at him, then at the stack of instrument cases behind him, "Um, I'm not sure. I could learn something new, I guess… What do you think I should play?"

The boy sighed and looked at the list again, "Well, I suppose we could use another clarinet player…"

"Okay, I'll do that."

"Sign here." the boy pointed to the paper, which Shinji signed.

"Alright, here you go." He handed Shinji a hard black case.

Shinji looked at the case, then turned to the boy, "Thank y-"

"Next…"

"Rude…" Shinji said under his breath. He then made his way to the last table, where he collected five packets full of information and forms to sign. One for medical purposes, a copy of the band handbook, an instrument care contract, a parental release form package, and information on… Band Camp? What the heck is Band Camp?

"Hey, Shinji!" Hikari ran up to him, "What are you doing here?"

"Hey Hikari! Asuka, Rei and I are joining. What do you play?"

"Oh, I don't play anything. I'm in the colorguard."

"The what?" Shinji was confused.

"The colorguard are the flag spinners."

Shinji thought for a moment, as he had only seen a few marching band shows before, "Oh, the ones who twirl during the performance?"

"No, spin. We spin. You spin a flag. You twirl a baton." Hikari said defensively, as if she had been insulted.

"Oh, I didn't know there was a difference…" Shinji said apologetically.

"No one does…" Hikari looked to the ground for a few moments, then back up to Shinji, "Hey, you should go try out your new instrument! See how you like it!"

"Yeah, I'll do that. Where are Asuka and Rei?"

"Oh, Asuka's in the colorguard with me, so she went to a different place to meet the rest of the guard" she pointed with her thumb over her shoulder to a large group of girls in the far corner, all huddled around Asuka.

"And Rei?" Shinji asked.

Hikari sweat-dropped, then pointed, "There."

Shinji followed the direction of her point, then produced a sweat drop of his own. Rei was hoisting the enormous instrument over her head so that it rested on her shoulders. "Oh, God." he mumbled.

AN: Well, then. That's the first chapter. A bit of explanation: Asuka is, well, a bitch, hence, colorguard. (HA!) Rei is a tiny, quiet person, and I thought it would be funny to have her with something loud and powerful, therefore, sousaphone. Another chapter? You tell me.


End file.
